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Denise is 12-years-old but feels 30. Both her parents have a problem. Amanda worries about family income, the bills, and how her parents are dealing with their problems. When her parents talk about divorce, Denise becomes the family counselor. She takes pride in her “helping the family,” but Denise is more an adult than a child.
When parents fail to behave responsibly, their children often take on adult roles in an attempt to help the family survive. Such children tend to worry about the family finances, caring for the family, and parental relationships. The children “parent” their siblings to compensate for inadequate parental nurturing. They feel responsible for family financial problems and relationship conflicts.
Some children become confidants to one or both parents as the adults open up to them about mature issues such as relationship and marriage problems. Children who take on parental roles feel that they are emotionally responsible for their parents’ well being and many times act more like a spouse than a child.
It is traumatic for children to take on adult responsibilities. They become a child in adult armor trying to do battle with the world. The pressure and expectations assumed by such children lead to long-lasting consequences, many times resulting in the abandonment of parental responsibilities when they become adults. Addictions become seductive escapes for the child weary of adult responsibilities.
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